Oh no!! Not again!!!

Today I was having lunch with a friend of mine at a local pizzeria. When we were walking home in the grey and rainy weather I felt and heard a load and wet splash on top of my head.
I touched my head and got something brown on my hand and my friend also put her hand on my head. Sure enough it was brown bird poo. I looked up and saw one black bird who flew away from the huge tree we just had passed. Just my luck! This is becoming sort of a habit... I understand that birds need to poo BUT do they have to do it on my head all the time!?  

It is dangerous to answer the phone

One of my family members sleeps very deep and is difficult to wake up so when the telephone rang he did not of course wake up BUT as noone answered he finally woke up. In the foggy state of being abruptly awake he stumbled and tripped over some furniture to reach the phone and....broke his leg. Talk about clumsy!

The screaming zipperlady

Today I had an eveningwalk with my daughter. An elderly lady started to talk to us about not being able to close her zipper on her jacket which she wanted as it had started to get cold. We had a look at her zipper and a metall bit was missing so it was not possible to use the zipper. Her accent was telling us that she was from Norway.As my family is from Norway we talked about that. Suddenly she started to scream and hit herself on her ears. She stops and says I have to do that sometimes. I said well if it makes you feel better why not. She shows us where she lives we talk about shoes and also whrn she started to learn how to ski in Norway. She screamed and hit her ears two more times. She was such a lovely lady how sad that she had this compulsory strange behaviour.

The secret lorry driver

A lady bumped hard into my knee when I was sitting down on the bus. She apologized and then asked two young men if they were brothers as they had the same outfit (they were painters). Then she turned to me and talked among other things about her secret affair at work with the lorry driver. Life is exciting!

I want a cheeseburger!

One day at a fast food restaurant a man walked in and he ordered a cheeseburger. The man at the cashier said: We are serving breakfast now. The man responded: OK I want a cheeseburger. The staff told him again: We are serving breakfast now. The customer again said still calm and friendly. OK I want a cheeseburger.  They repeated a third time the same thing happened. The staff called for the manager as the customer did not want to listen. So, the manager got him to finally choose something else a Fanta and a toast. Then it was time to pay. The man handed a cigarette to the manager. The manager said we do not accept cigarettes. Do you have cash or a credit card. The customer said I have a card. The customer then took the cigarette and tried to push it into the credit card reader for about 5 minutes.....Weirdest thing ever! Well in the end he left with a pulverised cigarette and no Fanta and toast.















  

The popping Coca cola

We had dinner at a fancy restaurant. My daughter had ordered Coca Cola. I was just drinking water but I was also given Coca cola. As my stomach does not like Coca cola but my brain does...my stomach wins...so when my daughter had finished hers she took my glass. She but the glas in her mouth and we heard a popping sound. She looked surprised and afraid. The glas it self cracked. Fortunately she didn't get hurt. But of course it had to be my glas....this has never happened before....how weird!

Have you heard of underground rage? Well you heard it here for the first time!

Early morning I was walking down the escalator steps and on the last two steps I slowed down and stopped to carefully step off the escalator. Then I suddenly got ambushed from behind by a man so he hanged on my back. He said. You cannot stop in the escalator! With a high and irritated voice. I replied camly. Sure I can stop walking. When we both were walking to the train he then suddenly demonstratively stopped I front of me so I almost walked into his back. He said something about me and my mobilephone. I just said that one should be careful when walking off an escalator. He disappears.
So I was the victim of escalator/underground rage. So there now you have heard of underground rage.

High Five Abdi part 2

I would like to tell you the next chapter of the story about the Angry Carpenter and High Five Abdi.
Please read the old story first. Anyway the news is as follows. I watched the TV show Nybyggarna in which homeless people are being given a chance to rebuild their life by building a room for themselves in a collective living.  Abdi was given this help and we now heard his story of why he was depressed. He is from Somalia and his family thought he would have a better life in Sweden so they sent him away with a relative to live in Sweden when he was only 8-9 years old. He remembers the trauma of running after his parents car when they left him. In Sweden he studied and got a job but when his brothers and his father died he got seriously depressed and lost his job and started to drink and take drugs. In the end he became homeless. He has not seen his mother and he cannot phone her as he feels that he has betrayed them as he has nothing to offer his mother and he of course do not want to confess that he is homeless. This could have turned to a sunshine story but he left the collective living and left his "golden ticket" to a better life. A friend of mine who gives clothes to homeless people saw him in the city very thin and under the influences of drugs. Unfortunately this story has no more high fives.

Shopping is good when it is bad

I was shopping a pair of black jeans at the store Companys but they were too long so I left them at the store to be shortened which I paid for all in advance both for the jeans and the tailoring. I was waiting for the store to phone me but no one did and I had been very busy so I had not contacted them. So many weeks later I walked into the shop and asked if my jeans were ready. They did not have my jeans and they said they would contact the tailor. Next day they phoned me and said that my jeans were gone. Someone else had taken my jeans probably by mistake. So they ordered a new pair of jeans and I had to go back some days later to have them tailored again. OK I showed up today in the store and I tried them on. The length was perfect. I did not have to fix them. I could finally take them home. The lady said that I could take any jewellery I wanted in the store as a gift for the trouble I have had and also she came me a nail polish for free. I wanted a ring but I also bought a bracelet to match it. That is good service!!!!




 


http://www.companys.com/

Do not try this at home!

Japan is well known as a global car manufacturer. This happened when I worked at a global car rental company. A Japanese man arrived to rent his car he found it on a huge parking lot with lots of other cars. He turned on the key when he still was standing outside the car. He should never had done that! The gear was set to the first gear and the car started to drive rolling away...he ran after but couldn´t stop the accident from happen. It rammed/crashed into not one but two other cars. He damaged 3 cars!!! The car rental representative was a tall large Swede who had to explain to him that he had to pay for the damaged cars. The Japanese man said that it was not his fault. The Swede explained that one have to check everything inside the car before you start the car. The reason why the car is in gear one. The representative bent down and patted him on the shoulder and explained again that he was so sorry but that it was the customer´s fault. After a week or two the car rental company got a complaint from the gentleman saying that he was assaulted by the Swede and forced to sign some documents regarding that he was guilty. A culture clash to say the least. I do feel sorry for this man but still it was his fault. I wonder what a real assault is like in Japan? 





 

Here take my dog!

Today on the underground I was walking along with the other commuters on my way home. A man looking like a crazy professor with his hair standing up and he wasn´t that clean either he asked the people passing by if they could help him with his husky dog. He had a suitcase on wheels which he wanted to take on the escalators (rulltrappa) but he dog should walk up the normal stairs. So he wanted help. No one stopped so I thought well why not!? I took the dog and the red dog leash and walked the dog. While I was walking up the man talked to be from the escalator: How old do you think the dog is? I said I do not know maybe 10 years old. No he is only 6 months. So on the top of the stairs I wanted to give the dog back BUT no...We are going up one more floor. Eh...OK. So one more floor on the underground. Then I said goodbye to the dog and the nutty professor. So that was a first some unknown man give me his dog..... :)

Clumsy "jackass" experience...

When I worked as a tourleader/guide working at the Greek island Skiathos. I lived in a small room and outside the room was a tiny hallway with a refrigerator. When I was going to iron my clothes I had to iron them on top of the refrigerator as I did not have an ironing board. One morning ironing my dress in my underwear. I was so tired and somehow I lost the grip of the iron so instinctively I pressed the iron to my body as otherwise it would fall to the floor. I burnt my breast with the iron! How clumsy was that!???? It hurt and I was marked by the experience!

He answered OK

I wrote an sms to my husband: I love you.
He replied with an sms: OK.


Now guess why he answered like that?! If  you have read my previous story you know why....
He is technically incompetent and cannot use the punchkeys correctly so this is the only thing he could write back to me.

Does this make sense to you????

My husband is not good at anything technical...today he tried to send an sms to my daughter. The first sms was just empty, the second sms said AK and the first last sms said ALK. When my daughter showed me the smses I did not understand them at all. She said but I understood it right away. Ok what does it mean? She said: ÄLSKAR DIG. I laughed my head off.


To interpret this into English the second sms said: LE and the third sms said: LEY. In other words LOVE YOU. Wasn´t that easy to understand???

Please please can the ground open up and swallow me!?

I was invited to a friends house and just when I arrived in her hallway I took of my jacket and I swung the jacket a little too high and too much and it got caught in some decorative dried flowers who hung on the wall. The dried flowers fell down on the floor and fell into small pieces and I felt so clumsy and stupid. My friend she looked really sad and upset. She said: Those were my wedding bouquet. I thought: Oh no!! Can the ground open up and swallow me and spit me out on the other side of the earth???

Toilet surprise!

Two weeks ago we were eating out at the restaurant Grodan. I went to the ladies at this restaurant and locked the door. I did what I had to do in there and suddenly another guest opened the door. I do not know how it could happen, as the door was locked, he said: Oh, I am so sorry, excuse me and closed the door. I quickly locked it again. It seems like there was something wrong with the lock. Oh well, just one of those embarrassing moments which are known to happen to me...

A volcano is hot very hot.......

One summer in Greece we visited an island called Nissyros which is in fact a sleeping volcano. We took a bus up to its crater and it was really smelly up there. Smelled liked rotten eggs. We walked around in the crater and there were small holes in the ground. I was curious and from these holes we saw steam coming up. I leaned forward looking into the holes and I thought it was a good idea to stretch my hand and arm into a hole. I pulled my arm out again really quickly. Boy it was hot! I do not know why I thought it would be a good idea to put my hand into a volcano...what was I thinking!??? Not my smartest moves.

 

Leave your baby and run for your life

My daughter´s classmate who was about 7-9 years old had an accident at school so the teacher phoned his family and his mother came to the school, to fetch him, so they could go to the hospital. That is all very normal but now what did his mother do....she came to the school with her baby daughter and she left the baby with the teacher as she claimed that she could not take the baby with her and had no where to turn to. My question is this:


- What if something happened with the baby who´s responsibility is it? A baby would disturb the teaching as it needs attention all the time. In my world it is not the schools responsibility to become a day care centre. Maybe I am heartless but one cannot just dump your baby in a school and leave it.
Bye bye baby!

The world´s most expensive paper

My mother gave me a piece of paper which I was going to bring to school to my art class. We were going to paint with water colours and she told me that this paper was perfect for that. The art teacher looked at my paper and then surprised say: - It is Lessebo the world´s most expensive paper! Handmade and with a water stamp. He took the paper and checked the water stamp and yes there it was. I just looked at him and did not know what he was talking about. He looked so impressed and surprised. Maybe he thought the paper should no be wasted on me as he looked sort of shocked. In my super snobbish school I never had the fancy clothes like my rich classmates but hey I had the most expensive paper in the world!

Liar liar your pants are on fire!

I knew a girl who worked as a tour leader/guide at Gran Canaries. She had a boyfriend in Sweden and a boyfriend at Gran Canaries. I travelled to Gran Canaries to see her and she invited me to stay together with her in her small apartment. All was well until her boyfriend came down for a surprise visit. I had to move out and sneak into a nearby apartment which I was not allowed to sleep in with only a mattress on the floor. Her boyfriend stayed with her and during they daytime he spent some time with me. I had never met him before and boy was I glad I had not met him before. When we met dark skinned men he always asked if they had hashish. I do not know why he thought dark coloured men would be drug dealers. So very embarrassing. I did not want to spend time with him anymore. One evening I heard from my friend that he Spanish boyfriend knocked on her door when her other boyfriend was in the apartment. She had just a small opening on the door and her Swedish boyfriend got suspicious. Her Canary boyfriend left when she said she was not well. Just in time and she told her Swedish boyfriend some other lie.  When I moved out to make room for her boyfriend I left my suitcase and all my things as I just slept somewhere else. It turned out that her crazy Swedish boyfriend had gone through all my things to look for evidence that his girlfriend was cheating. As you can imagine I do not want to be friends with her anymore. What was that!? It turned out that she had not told her boyfriend that I was staying with and lied about that too. I hate liars and people using drugs. So, you are not surprised if I tell you that I did not see them again. Friendship = over.

I resign!!!

When I worked for a travel agency which was when I was 20 years old and one of my very first jobs I was in charge of the visa department which was only me. I ran to different embassies and filled in forms fixed photos and applications. This was a small family business in the Old Town. Mum , Dad and their children and others worked there. I had to go to the post office and carry with my bare hands very heavy packages and walk with them from the post office to the travel agency. One day I got ill. I had bronchitis almost pneumonia. When I was back at work the Manager and the Assistant Manager wanted to talk to me and asked me to come into their office. They started to ask me about my sickness. The Manager asked me: - Why do you think you got ill?
I got surprised over the strange question and also this was the first time I had been ill and off work. I answered that well maybe because I was running around with my jacket open. I have no idea. I got very angry as it seemed they thought I lied. I even had a medical certificate. Next day I told them that I resign. I worked the days which I had to and left. They had no found a new person and they really needed me. I would never help them but the wife of the manager phoned me and begged me to come on and work some more days. As I am such a kind person I did, but got no extra thanks for that.
Still I would not put up with that kind of nonsense even if I was only 20-years old and for that I am proud. 

Mel Gibson is coming to town!

A long time ago when I worked at Hertz rent a car´s reservation office I knew that my female colleagues at Arlanda airport really loved Mel Gibson so I found his membership number and found a valid flight from the States and booked him a car with a pick up at Arlanda. So the girls were all excited but somehow they were on to me as they could see from where the reservation was done so I was soon found out. So, I cancelled the reservation but still I fooled them for a while with my practical joke...so sorry Mel Gibson is not coming to town...

Donald duck!???

I was watching Youtube clips with my daughter and she showed me clips with people imitating cartoon characters. I know how to sound like Donald Duck. I started to talk like Donald Duck. She laughed her head off. Suddenly my husband showed up newly awake saying: - Did you hear the cat fight!? We both laughed our heads off.

Kick your child just for the fun of it....

A married couple we know had a young daughter of just 4-5 years old. We met the family on the beach and the father played with his daughter. Suddenly he start to kick her behind so she falls in the sand on the beach. He laughs. We cannot understand his behaviour and the mother does nothing. The little girl does not understand either. She gets up and he continues to kick her behind so she falls. He laughs. Some people were not made to be parents...I wonder what he would feel like if his daughter made a move as in the photo..??? Just for the fun of it!  

The wrong Abdullah...

There was a man working with my husband and his name was Abdullah. One day two policemen came to my husbands job and grabbed Abdullah and took him with them and disappeared.  The next day Abdullah was back at work. It turns out he was taken down to the police station and interrogated but then the police realised that they had taken the wrong Abdullah and they let him go. They thought he was an illegal immigrant. I feel so sorry for him to be dragged away from work in front of his colleagues and manager like a criminal!