Polite or Humouristic or just being very strange?

On the bus today a smelly man entered. He walked to the last seats in the back where a very large woman was sitting. He said: - May I sit here? (about the seat next to her) The bus was almost empty with people so he did not need to sit beside her. She replied: Yes. (what else could she say?)
He then said: - I promise to behave myself....
My daughter turned her head to hide her face as she was laughing and I thought to myself for once it is not me but someone else who people talk to.  

Open a window...yuck!

I was on the train with a friend and it was very hot so I had to open the window. I reached up to pull down the window but something I touched felt strange. I looked at the window I had touched and it was old vomit on it. Yuck!!! Just typically me!

  

Sockless highflyer

We spent Christmas at Hilton hotel in Stockholm and during breakfast I found a co-worker who also did the same in the same hotel. What is the chance of that happening!?
Anyway, sitting close to us during the breakfast was a man who had no socks in his loafers/shoes. Mind you that it is winter and Christmas. He is discussing stocks and shares with his friend. He said that he needed to gas on stocks (buy more) at the SEB Bank. It was a bit funny as he was sockless...

Uops...SOS..I am so sorry

At work when you need to dial outside the company you dial 0 and then the phone number. I forgot the 0 and it turned out that the next numbers were 112 in the phone number and then a couple of other numbers but these were the first.
That meant that I got a lady in my ear saying: - SOS what is your emergency?
I quickly said ups I am sorry I dialled the wrong number. OK let´s hang up then she said....
Really embarrassing!

Christmas with celebrities

As we are now so few in our family we decided to meet up with my brother and eat at a restaurant on Christmas. We went to Mäster Anders and there we saw Pär Lernström at one table (Idol) and the Plura at another table. I never thought I would spend Christmas with them :).

God´s peace

 

I was walking alone after school and I met a priest. Suddenly he says: God´s Peace. I was shocked and surprised but it sounded good. Peace. Isn't that what we all want. Global peace. Let there be peace over you too.






 

Double vision?

I have not used contact lenses for a very long time. I went to the optician to get my new lenses and I was so eager so I put them in at the opticians so I took one lens out of the box but it looked thicker and bluer than normal...I tried to put in in my eye but it did not work. Then I realised that it was two lenses not one.
I split them up and used one one of them.
The optician said: - I have used lenses for 25 years and it has only happened to me once.
So I am not surprised...it happened to me and it is of course not the first time for me....
I wonder how the machine makes this mistake and how this happens?

BurgerMax! You heard it here first!

At McDonalds a man pointed with his finger to an employee and complained over receiving a cold coffee. He said: I will not be back. Next time I will go to BurgerMax!
Well, As you know there no such hamburger chain...There is Burger King and Max but no BurgerMax....

You think noone understands you....

I was under the underground in London and I sat down and opposite me sat a girl. She was crying and talking on the phone. She spoke Swedish and was telling her friend of how her ex boyfriend had broke up with her and so on.... She did not think that no one understood what she was saying but I understood as of course it is my mother tongue. So it felt very uncomfortable to sit there and hear the full exclusive story she of course did not want to share with anyone except her friend. So, be careful out there do not think that no one understands you....

What I never thought someone would say to me.....

As you know by now I meet a lot of strange people and especially when using public transport.
So, going to work using London´s underground I suddenly found a drunk older man sitting in front of me. He smelled alcohol. He started to talk to me and it was all very innocent and he joked and we just talked. Then he reached out and touched my hair without my permission. I got upset and stood up and left. He screamed after me: - It´s not pubic hair!
How embarrassing as the other passengers watched and must have wondered what he meant by that and who I was and how I knew him...oh, really why me!?

   

Love starts in the most mysterious ways

The kind of romantic story of how my father and mother met is now going to be unfolded. My mother and father liked to dance folklore dances. And one evening they both decided to go to Skansen in Stockholm to dance. That´s where they met for the first time on the outdoor dance floor. My mother liked this gentleman and when he asked if he could drive her home she accepted as she thought he did not look like a dangerous person. So, my father was driving along with my mother when he suddenly turn the car into a road leading into the dark forest and not leading to my mother´s home. My mother got very scared and thought...OH NO! A murderer or a rapist!
The truth was that my father was not familiar with the road and he was lost and had to turn the car around using this forest as a turn around area. So, you know the rest. My mother got over the shock and they got married. :)

  

It took 5 min to go from goodlooking to really ugly

My husband met a friend which he has not seen for a long time. His friend said:
- Wow you are looking great!
Then after 5 min my husband got bitten by three mosquitoes on his face and being as allergic as he is it swelled up really into three huge pink balloons. So, we hurried to a pharmacy to get some pills to calm down the reaction. Luckily no problem with his breathing...so next time someone is saying you are good looking...take cover!!! You might be jinxed/cursed!

Really!?

A former girlfriend to a relative of mine was going to be married. So, where was she planning to have the dinner with all relatives? McDonalds! Really!?

Really fanatic re-cycling

I was working at the Nordic Association Against Animal Cruelty and the manager had just drunk her tea. She left her tea bag on the table and said:
- Here you can re-use the tea bag.
I thought: Really!? I looked at her with a surprised look.
She said: - Re-cycling is wonderful for the environment.
I am a fan of the nature but not a fanatic!

This is Ios!

A nice holiday in Greece off season in September should be calm and relaxing. Our small family of 3 went to the infamous Island of Ios in Greece. It has a reputation of party Island but we were going off season. Well, that was what we had figured anyway. Our young daughter was about 6-7 years old. We had been travelling for 24 hours and we were really exhausted and were looking forward to a night´s good sleep but no...The hotel had a party to about 02:00 and then the party continued in the rooms. So we could no sleep from the laughter, music and noise. My husband asked our closest neighbours to be quiet but to no success. My normally clam husband walked up to the receptionist at the hotel and he was really angry and he shouted:
- Is this a hotel or a brothel!?
The man replied: - What did you expect? This is Ios!
The receptionist asked the rooms to be quiet and in the end we had some sleep. These parties every night and lack of sleep....
The hotel breakfast was always served FROM 11:00...what hotel serves breakfast from 11:00!?
That is lunch!  Needless to say this beautiful island will never be visited again by us.





    

A scam lottery????

Youngsters were standing in our local mall and gave out lottery tickets for free. I thought this was a scam....so well I passed them and thought nothing of it. When I was on my way back a blond young girl gave me a lottery ticket and I had to scrape off the boxes standing beside her to know if I had won. I won a new lottery ticket and then she started to sell sell sell. It was to help an organisation who helps children to alcoholics. Which is good but I did not want to be a monthly giver and get lottery tickets. So I said no. She said that I could check at home if I had won on my new ticket on their website. So I checked and before I could see if I had won anything I had to add my national Insurance number/person nummer and of course I cannot give them that...so... first impression counts...it was a scam. Every ticket is a winning ticket with a new ticket....

What was the teacher thinking!?

My daughter came home today and told me that they watched a Spanish film/Movie in the classroom. It was among other things about a lady in coma and the male nurse raped her also there were animal cruelty with a bullfight and a small man little like a thumb who entered a woman´s vagina and she had an orgasm. Is this a film for 14-years old´s in school?!!!! The headmistress received an email from me asking her the same question.....

The orange blob

In Riga we sat down on a bench in a lovely garden. Suddenly my daughter looked terrified and I turned around to see what is was that scared her. It was a huge orange blob walking towards us.
The blob had a black hat no face and sunglasses and it was huge. It turned out it was a person dressed up and the blob gave us a business card with a telephone number to a taxi/cab company. I took some photos of the blob....

Military secrets are flying in the air

When my husband was in the military he worked in an office and took care of secret documents. From time to time these documents needed to be destroyed so they were burnt. One day the head of the office (high in ranks) told my husband to take a plastic bag filled with secret documents and to burn them. He took a lighter walked outside and put the bag on the ground. It was a bit windy. He lighted up the plastic bag which was a bad idea as it burnt up immediately and all paperbits fell out and flew out and away up and up in the air. The head of the military office saw this from his window and leaned out and shouted: - You bloody idiot!!!

 

F YOU!

My first time ever and day in London, UK. I passed a begging young man sitting outside an underground entrance..we walked passed him and he yelled FUCK YOU!
A really odd experience as no one has ever told me to FUCK OFF.

My music taste

I love house and club music. When I told one of my colleagues at work who is the same age as I am he said: - It is brave of you to confess that you like this kind of music.
Why should I be embarrassed!? I do not understand a thing!
So if I am middelaged I am not allowed to like modern music!?

BLABLA!?

Today on the bus a young mum brought her baby boy in a pram. The baby boy started to baby talk blablablabla. Then an older man sitting close by also started to imitate blablabla. Then the bus driver imitated in the loudspeaker saying: this is the bus talking blablablabla. All passengers laughed.   

Do not hurry when visiting the toilet!

My daughter´s friend who was around 7-9 years old was going to the toilet in our home. She had been there for a while when the doorbell rang and it was her father. He was in a hurry so he shouted hurry up we have to leave. She came down quickly and they left. Later in the evening I was myself visiting the toilet and when I was going to wash my hands I touched the tap and got something soft and brown on my hand. I put my hand under my nose and it smelled poo. I checked the floor and I saw also that someone had tried clean the floor but there were two spots of brown colouring on the floor. Really disgusting! Poor girl she had such a hurry from the toilet that poo dropped on the floor she must have picked it up with her hand and that is why I now had it on my hand from the tap....

What is in my hair!?

Me and my husband were going on a bus tour from London out in the countryside and we were a bit early so we went into the train station just to look around while we were waiting as the bus stop was outside the train station. Just when we walked in I felt something in my hair and I looked at my husband and he had something green on the jackets shoulder and I touched my hair and I had something wet and slimy on my head and hair. It was brown, green and white. It was pigeon poo and a lot of it! Just my luck! We found an information desk and asked it there were somewhere I could clean my hair. They were so kind and opened up some showers for me so I could at least try to get some of it out my hair. It was not so pleasant to walk around with still some bird poo in my hair when we entered the bus for the full day bus tour. I can tell you that walking around with dried bird poo all day in your hair smells funny and it not something I REALLY would not like to do again.

   

The scary miaow man

My daughter then 9 years old and I were shopping in a mall. She had to go to the ladies and I was waiting outside. When she cam out she didn´t say anything until we had reached a shoe shop.
She said: - Mum, it was a scary man inside the ladies room.
- Was it? - Why didn´t you sat anything?
- I was scared
- We can go there now and I will talk to him.
- NO, NO please no
- OK what did he do?
- He sounded like a cat and mad miaow noises towards me and he also made sounds like when you want a cat to come over to you. I got scared. He works in there.
OK. So I came home and wrote an email to the mall´s manager that it is not proper to scare young girls and also only make strange noises when he is alone with a young child.
The manager responded that they would address this internally.
After this incident we never saw the miaow man again.