I am an idiot!

A totally embarrassing moment today! I just realised I had promised to gather a neighbours post during her holidays and my neighbour has been back from her holiday for a couple of days now....I am an idiot! 

Say what?!!!

When I was about 20-years old I was walking with two female friends late in the night in the city of  Athens. I was dressed in jeans, high heels and a blouse with nothing revealing. A man passed us by and he dropped a comment about me but as I did not understand what he said in Greek I had to ask my friends. They were laughing and told me that he had asked me how much I cost. He was far away but I was very angry so I shouted some not so nice things back at him.... 

A weird but honorable man...I think...????

An unknown man from a country far far away started to talk to me on the train and he wanted to meet me. I was single at that time, young and a bit naive. I still lived at home with my parents. He was talking away and convinced me to give him my phone number. He said that he was paperless and that he had no passport and so on. Well, one day he phoned me up and he said - I am so sorry there will be no date because my wife won´t let me.....He never said that he had a wife.
Really weird......

It is not obvious...at least not to me...

When I was a tour guide in Greece two guests (a couple) looked super happy and said to me:

- Look look and they showed me their hands and they had really super nice watches.
I said: -Yeah really nice watches. They looked surprised and laughed and replied: - No look again.
I looked again and I did not see anything. -They said we got engaged.
Ops yet another embarrassing moment in my life.

The truth can be embarrassing

When I was still in school we had a boy in our class who we did not like as he was mean.
One day I and a friend from my class were on the train sitting opposite each others.
I said - Really what an idiot our classmate X is. My friend did not respond which I thought was strange so I continued on the same subject. - X is such an awful person isn´t he? Still not an answer from my classmate not even a nod. It turned out that the lady sitting beside me was X´s mother and I did not know her but my classmate knew who she was. There would be no doubt about who X was as he had an extremely unusual name. Really embarrassing but then again what I said was the truth her son was not a good person. 

Keep a straight face no matter what

When I was a tour guide I had some trips together with the guests. One boat trip to a beach where we grilled food and swam in the light blue sea and a trip to a monastery with donkeys.

There was no time to let me see the monastery before I was going to take the tourists there so I had no preparations in advance. We arrived and I showed them the simple monastery and told them about its history. Then the donkey owner waived at me and wanted us to walk about 100 meters further on and there behind a cliff was another beautiful and much bigger monastery. A guest asked: - What place is this?
- This is the monastery I told you about.
How embarrassing was that!?? Really embarrassing!!!

The hotel visit when a lot of things went wrong...

I had booked a weekend hotel package in the Swedish archipelago with my husband. Arriving at the hotel we got instructions from the reception with a map and a written X on the map where our room was and in which building. We walked for 5 minutes and found the building and started to look for the room. We checked everywhere but the room did not exist. So we picked up a phone in the hall and talked to the staff. They said that it is the opposite building. OK we walked to the opposite building and the room number was nowhere to be found. One door had a sign "grupp rum" which equals a room for a group of people. We went back to the previous building picked up the phone again and they said that the number on the door was missing and that it was indeed the "group room" which was our room. Finally we had found our room! I pushed in the keycard in the door but it refused to open! Oh no are we ever going to get into the room! I thought ok I will try the second keycard before we phone again. The second keycard worked! Success we are in! After unpacking we walked back to the reception and they had no idea how one keycard worked and the other did not. They had been "loaded" exactly the same but I wasn´t really surprised as strange things happens to me. So we had only one key so we better be together all the time. In the eveing we had booked the hotels restaurant. We got seated just by the sea and started to eat and after the main course the waiter bent down and whispered. - There has been a mistake....
I understood immediately
- Ok you want us to move to another table?
- Yes please. We apologise as we miscalculated with the larger group of guests. We will give you free dessert as compensation.
- We will of course move that is not a problem.
So we had free dessert and walked back to our room.
Next day after breakfast it was time to check out.
At the reception we were told:
- No you cannot check out. Our computer system is not working.
- Eh ok
- It might take 15-30 minutes to sort it out
- Alright we will wait
30 min passed
Still no working computer so we checked out the old fashioned way....
I wonder how often it happens that all these things happens to the same guest?
It must be REALLY unusual!
Still we had a brilliant stay and will return again.

What may be found in the muesli?

Early morning adding muesli in a bowl. Looking at the muesli I saw something which did not belong in my muesli. A cigarette butt!!! It had the same colour as the muesli so I could have eaten it but lucky not. How is it get there??

Being unlucky once is not enough....I had to be unlucky twice...

Flying home from Greece, the last day of my vacation, I wanted to have a panini sandwich with chicken. It was warm and soft and tasted good. Suddenly I felt like I had chewed on a stone and half my tooth was gone. I contacted the stewardess and she asked if I wanted some painkillers and then I had to fill in some forms of what happened. I booked a dentist appointment paid 1400 SEK/133 GBP and the dentist said that I would probably have troubles with the tooth in the future as it was so close that I lost it completely. Well, now I sent in the paperwork, the half chewed panini sandwich to the airline for compensation. The compensation never arrived. Why? The airline filed for bankrupcy.
Really!? How unlucky can one be???

I am a jockey and I know it

At New Years eve I was invited to a New Years Party by a friends friend. The woman who had the party was a famous Swedish jockey. Joining her were also a lot of jockeys. We were seated were we had a card with our name on it. At my table we had nice discussions and later that evening I  talked to an English jockey and I asked him if he had learnt some Swedish when he was here.
He responded: - I am a jockey. I do not have to. 
Needless to say I stopped talking to him immediately.

3 smart nuns.....

A warm afternoon sitting and drinking coffee at a cafeteria in Greece with friends. Three nuns approached different people along the main street. They were selling wooden bracelets with icons of saints on. When one of these nuns came to us she said:
- Would you like to buy a bracelet to sponsor the restoration of monastery we come from at Chios (Chios being very far away from where we were in Greece).
I do not remember the name of the monastery but she showed as a picture. You can give a sum whatever you feel is appropriate she said.  We gave her some Euros and then she left saying thank you. Later that evening a friend of us said:
- Did you see those three gypsies dressed up like nuns?
It turns out that these ladies have found out a smart trick to fool people.
I must give them a hand for being so resourceful. They must come up with a story which no one will find odd, find appropriate clothes (sewing? steal?) and play the characters and in the end have something believable to sell. I can pay for that charade without hesitating.
Anyway we were fooled.....

The toothless man

Outside our shopping centre where we live a man started to talk to me and my daughter. 
- Is this the mother and the daughter sitting here?
-Yes it is I responded.
He smiled with a rather toothless mouth and the smell of old alcohol surrounded us.
- You have a beautiful daughter.
- Oh thank you.
- How old is she?
- I am 14 she responded.
Then he asked about my age and said that he was 64. After this introduction he started to talk about that his son died when he was only 21 years old and that he had seen his son as a ghost. Then he said that we need to be careful around people who do not like people as they scratch our arms so they get bloody. He quickly jumped to another subject. He collects blueberries in the woods and that also scratched his arms bloody according to him. So, it was time for us to leave....bye bye and thanks for the strange story I thought to myself. 

What is the chance of this happening on your holiday?

 

The village Batsi on the island of Andros in Greece, the sun is high up in the sky burning your skin. You walk into the water to cool down and suddenly beside you you see your next door neighbours from home (Stockholm Sweden). For some reason they decided to go to the same country, the same village during the same week as us....really what is the odds of that???

The blue eyed dog inches from my face



Going home from work on the underground as I normally do as you know by now. A man sat down on the opposite seat diagonally from me and he put his beautiful husky dog under the seat.  The dog owner needed to have a shower and the dog was dirty too. The man had a pair of glasses on and they still had a sticker on them telling the world how bad his eyesight was +2,5. That kind of glasses you buy at a petrol station.

 

He started to talk to me: - Do you have a Sony Ericsson's mobile phone? - Eh, no I do not. - I have just got mine repaired and now I have to add all my contacts again. Do you know how to do that? - No sorry I do not.

 

Then another passenger´s phone rang and the dog man asked me if I recognised the music. - Eh, no. He explained that it was Dr Zhivago's lead music and he then told me that Dr Zhivago was a doctor during a war and it was winter and so on..he then said that his husky´s name was Rio and he was as much worth as a human so he could sit on the seat. So suddenly I had two pair of blue eyes and a pink tongue just inches from my face staring at me and sitting on the seat in front of me. A beautiful but dirty dog which hopefully was friendly. The man took out a comb and started to groom the dog inside the train. Pulling out big balls of smelly hair in his hand. It was time for me to get out and I said bye bye.....got out and had some fresh air.      



 

The bodybuilder

There is an area i Greece called Mani. It famous for freedom fighting and many years ago mafia. Well, we were having our holiday in Mani and we travelled to a village called Aerpolis. Walking around the village my husband saw a shop with the owners name on it. He said: Did I tell you about  when I did my military service? I met a fellow soldier who was a bodybuilder and his name is the same as on the shop sign. I know that he is from this area in Mani but not which village. Did you know that the officers had respect for him and were probably a bit afraid not so much because he was a body builder but more due to the fact that he came from an infamous family from Mani. You know like mafia. No, you did not tell me. We strolled along to the main square of the village. We were a bit peckish so we sat down and had a milkshake and watched the people passing by. When it was time to go I saw a bodybuilder standing beside a taxi. We passed him and doing so I asked my husband jokingly well look that could have been your mate from the military service. He turned around and he walked towards the bodybuilder and he said: Hi how are you? Long time no see. Do you remeber me? The man replied. Yes of course! How are you? He is now a taxidriver in the area and we exchanged phone numbers. When we returned to out hotel in Gytheon we told the hotel owner about this bizarre event. The owner said well everybody here knows who he is. If you know him you are sure to be left alone here and you will have no trouble with the locals.
I really wonder what the chance is to have this happening...could not be big...

Handling a handle or why does this happen to me???

At a cafeteria with a friend of mine at Odenplan in Stockholm. Suddenly I had to go and powder my nose. I walked to the ladies and opened the door and lclosed it behind me. Guess what happened? I suddenly stood there with the door handle in my hand... Now what could I do as I heard the door handle on the outside drop to the floor. That means that I am locked inside the loo...
OK so I could not use the toilet as I did not know if someone from the outside would be able to open the door. So I just stood there waiting for someone to show up. After about 5 minutes (felt like longer) a lady found the handle and opened the door and got frightened when she saw me in there. I said thank god you saved me. Please could we help each other. If I can do what I can here to do and if you watch outside the door I will do the same for you. It´s a deal!  So I eventually came back to my lonely friend. She wondered what took so long.....

Do not talk to 007!

At Sheraton hotel in Stockholm you can return your rental car on the ground floor which I, my husband and my daughter did. We took the elevator up and when we got out I saw a famous man on my left hand side looking through international newspapers and on the right hand side a beautiful lady stood waiting. It was Roger Moore and his wife. We gave the keys to the receptionist and walked out of the hotel. I asked my husband if he saw who we just had passed inside the hotel? No who? James Bond. Roger Moore and his wife. He replied: I must go in and say hello.  I replied are you mad!? We are not going in again and you are not going to talk to James Bond. He did not listen. He walked in again and I just had to walk far away behind him to see what he was going to do. So the whole family back into the hotel again. My husband saw Roger Moore and wife by the elevators and when he reached them the elevator doors closed just infront of his face and Bond was gone. I thought thank God! He was going to embarrass himself. I wanted to know what he was going to say to 007 if he had the opportunity. He said I am going to say hello, my name and tell him that I am from Greece. I thought again thank God he did not succeed to say hello to James Bond!

Chocolate maniac

I opened the refrigerator door to take out a chocolate bar. My daughter who was only two year´s old stood behind me and also wanted some chocolate. I did not give her any chocolate and boy did I regret it. Suddenly a pain spread in my right buttock. I turned around instinctively and slapped her face (not on purpose). Why? The toddler had bit my behind. I got bite marks even though I had jeans on. That was painful. So from now on my daughter can eat chocolate when ever she wants....

Why I do not ride a motorbike

When I was young and stupid I hanged out with a boy who had a big Kawasaki motorbike and one day he was going to give me a lift for several hours in Greece. Going from Evia to Pirgos Dirou in Peloponnese. I had no helmet and we drove 190 kilometers per hour. Suddenly the chain jumped into the rear wheel and got stuck in it. The motorbikes wheel stopped spinning and the motorbike slided straight for the mountain wall. As of a miracle the bike stopped just a couple of centimetres from the stone wall. I have heard that the bike should have volted when this happens but it didn´t. Not to mentioned a burnt leg and bruises in two other accidents so it is really safe to say that no more motorbikes for me.

What did I just say?

Walking along suddenly something just slightly touched my hair and I heard a splashing noise. I looked up and saw and heard some seagulls laughing. I did not want to touch my hair so I stopped the first person I could see. I asked a young man - Do I have bird poo in my hair? He looked and checked and said no you have no poo in your hair. Then I thought what did I just say to an unknown person??  That must be the most strange question I have ever uttered to someone I do not know.

A young monk at the wrong place?

When I worked as a tour guide in Greece I was in charge of a trip out in the mountain with donkeys and we group of tourists and I stopped for a brake under a sycamore/plantan to drink retsina or water and eat bread and tomatoes. There were 3 old men who owned the donkeys. One of them was always happy and the only English he knew was: Retsina good good. Bed many Babies. What that ment was if you drink Retsina you will have many babies. When we had eaten we continued to a monastery. The monastery Evangilistria at Skiathos had only two monks. One old and one younger. When I showed up the young monk was always there. He gave me gifts for example souvenir/keepsakes they sell to the tourists. It became a joke among the tourists that as soon as I arrived the monk was there and talked and wanted to give me things. As you know a monk cannot have a girlfriend or marry... Finally when the season was over and we had the last tour up in the mountain the monk said. I will come to Sweden and knock on your door so please give me your address in Sweden....I do not remember if I gave it to him but he never showed up...