Polite or Humouristic or just being very strange?

On the bus today a smelly man entered. He walked to the last seats in the back where a very large woman was sitting. He said: - May I sit here? (about the seat next to her) The bus was almost empty with people so he did not need to sit beside her. She replied: Yes. (what else could she say?)
He then said: - I promise to behave myself....
My daughter turned her head to hide her face as she was laughing and I thought to myself for once it is not me but someone else who people talk to.  

Open a window...yuck!

I was on the train with a friend and it was very hot so I had to open the window. I reached up to pull down the window but something I touched felt strange. I looked at the window I had touched and it was old vomit on it. Yuck!!! Just typically me!

  

Sockless highflyer

We spent Christmas at Hilton hotel in Stockholm and during breakfast I found a co-worker who also did the same in the same hotel. What is the chance of that happening!?
Anyway, sitting close to us during the breakfast was a man who had no socks in his loafers/shoes. Mind you that it is winter and Christmas. He is discussing stocks and shares with his friend. He said that he needed to gas on stocks (buy more) at the SEB Bank. It was a bit funny as he was sockless...

Uops...SOS..I am so sorry

At work when you need to dial outside the company you dial 0 and then the phone number. I forgot the 0 and it turned out that the next numbers were 112 in the phone number and then a couple of other numbers but these were the first.
That meant that I got a lady in my ear saying: - SOS what is your emergency?
I quickly said ups I am sorry I dialled the wrong number. OK let´s hang up then she said....
Really embarrassing!

Christmas with celebrities

As we are now so few in our family we decided to meet up with my brother and eat at a restaurant on Christmas. We went to Mäster Anders and there we saw Pär Lernström at one table (Idol) and the Plura at another table. I never thought I would spend Christmas with them :).

God´s peace

 

I was walking alone after school and I met a priest. Suddenly he says: God´s Peace. I was shocked and surprised but it sounded good. Peace. Isn't that what we all want. Global peace. Let there be peace over you too.






 

Double vision?

I have not used contact lenses for a very long time. I went to the optician to get my new lenses and I was so eager so I put them in at the opticians so I took one lens out of the box but it looked thicker and bluer than normal...I tried to put in in my eye but it did not work. Then I realised that it was two lenses not one.
I split them up and used one one of them.
The optician said: - I have used lenses for 25 years and it has only happened to me once.
So I am not surprised...it happened to me and it is of course not the first time for me....
I wonder how the machine makes this mistake and how this happens?

BurgerMax! You heard it here first!

At McDonalds a man pointed with his finger to an employee and complained over receiving a cold coffee. He said: I will not be back. Next time I will go to BurgerMax!
Well, As you know there no such hamburger chain...There is Burger King and Max but no BurgerMax....

You think noone understands you....

I was under the underground in London and I sat down and opposite me sat a girl. She was crying and talking on the phone. She spoke Swedish and was telling her friend of how her ex boyfriend had broke up with her and so on.... She did not think that no one understood what she was saying but I understood as of course it is my mother tongue. So it felt very uncomfortable to sit there and hear the full exclusive story she of course did not want to share with anyone except her friend. So, be careful out there do not think that no one understands you....

What I never thought someone would say to me.....

As you know by now I meet a lot of strange people and especially when using public transport.
So, going to work using London´s underground I suddenly found a drunk older man sitting in front of me. He smelled alcohol. He started to talk to me and it was all very innocent and he joked and we just talked. Then he reached out and touched my hair without my permission. I got upset and stood up and left. He screamed after me: - It´s not pubic hair!
How embarrassing as the other passengers watched and must have wondered what he meant by that and who I was and how I knew him...oh, really why me!?

   

Love starts in the most mysterious ways

The kind of romantic story of how my father and mother met is now going to be unfolded. My mother and father liked to dance folklore dances. And one evening they both decided to go to Skansen in Stockholm to dance. That´s where they met for the first time on the outdoor dance floor. My mother liked this gentleman and when he asked if he could drive her home she accepted as she thought he did not look like a dangerous person. So, my father was driving along with my mother when he suddenly turn the car into a road leading into the dark forest and not leading to my mother´s home. My mother got very scared and thought...OH NO! A murderer or a rapist!
The truth was that my father was not familiar with the road and he was lost and had to turn the car around using this forest as a turn around area. So, you know the rest. My mother got over the shock and they got married. :)

  

It took 5 min to go from goodlooking to really ugly

My husband met a friend which he has not seen for a long time. His friend said:
- Wow you are looking great!
Then after 5 min my husband got bitten by three mosquitoes on his face and being as allergic as he is it swelled up really into three huge pink balloons. So, we hurried to a pharmacy to get some pills to calm down the reaction. Luckily no problem with his breathing...so next time someone is saying you are good looking...take cover!!! You might be jinxed/cursed!

Really!?

A former girlfriend to a relative of mine was going to be married. So, where was she planning to have the dinner with all relatives? McDonalds! Really!?

Really fanatic re-cycling

I was working at the Nordic Association Against Animal Cruelty and the manager had just drunk her tea. She left her tea bag on the table and said:
- Here you can re-use the tea bag.
I thought: Really!? I looked at her with a surprised look.
She said: - Re-cycling is wonderful for the environment.
I am a fan of the nature but not a fanatic!

This is Ios!

A nice holiday in Greece off season in September should be calm and relaxing. Our small family of 3 went to the infamous Island of Ios in Greece. It has a reputation of party Island but we were going off season. Well, that was what we had figured anyway. Our young daughter was about 6-7 years old. We had been travelling for 24 hours and we were really exhausted and were looking forward to a night´s good sleep but no...The hotel had a party to about 02:00 and then the party continued in the rooms. So we could no sleep from the laughter, music and noise. My husband asked our closest neighbours to be quiet but to no success. My normally clam husband walked up to the receptionist at the hotel and he was really angry and he shouted:
- Is this a hotel or a brothel!?
The man replied: - What did you expect? This is Ios!
The receptionist asked the rooms to be quiet and in the end we had some sleep. These parties every night and lack of sleep....
The hotel breakfast was always served FROM 11:00...what hotel serves breakfast from 11:00!?
That is lunch!  Needless to say this beautiful island will never be visited again by us.





    

A scam lottery????

Youngsters were standing in our local mall and gave out lottery tickets for free. I thought this was a scam....so well I passed them and thought nothing of it. When I was on my way back a blond young girl gave me a lottery ticket and I had to scrape off the boxes standing beside her to know if I had won. I won a new lottery ticket and then she started to sell sell sell. It was to help an organisation who helps children to alcoholics. Which is good but I did not want to be a monthly giver and get lottery tickets. So I said no. She said that I could check at home if I had won on my new ticket on their website. So I checked and before I could see if I had won anything I had to add my national Insurance number/person nummer and of course I cannot give them that...so... first impression counts...it was a scam. Every ticket is a winning ticket with a new ticket....

What was the teacher thinking!?

My daughter came home today and told me that they watched a Spanish film/Movie in the classroom. It was among other things about a lady in coma and the male nurse raped her also there were animal cruelty with a bullfight and a small man little like a thumb who entered a woman´s vagina and she had an orgasm. Is this a film for 14-years old´s in school?!!!! The headmistress received an email from me asking her the same question.....

The orange blob

In Riga we sat down on a bench in a lovely garden. Suddenly my daughter looked terrified and I turned around to see what is was that scared her. It was a huge orange blob walking towards us.
The blob had a black hat no face and sunglasses and it was huge. It turned out it was a person dressed up and the blob gave us a business card with a telephone number to a taxi/cab company. I took some photos of the blob....

Military secrets are flying in the air

When my husband was in the military he worked in an office and took care of secret documents. From time to time these documents needed to be destroyed so they were burnt. One day the head of the office (high in ranks) told my husband to take a plastic bag filled with secret documents and to burn them. He took a lighter walked outside and put the bag on the ground. It was a bit windy. He lighted up the plastic bag which was a bad idea as it burnt up immediately and all paperbits fell out and flew out and away up and up in the air. The head of the military office saw this from his window and leaned out and shouted: - You bloody idiot!!!

 

F YOU!

My first time ever and day in London, UK. I passed a begging young man sitting outside an underground entrance..we walked passed him and he yelled FUCK YOU!
A really odd experience as no one has ever told me to FUCK OFF.

My music taste

I love house and club music. When I told one of my colleagues at work who is the same age as I am he said: - It is brave of you to confess that you like this kind of music.
Why should I be embarrassed!? I do not understand a thing!
So if I am middelaged I am not allowed to like modern music!?

BLABLA!?

Today on the bus a young mum brought her baby boy in a pram. The baby boy started to baby talk blablablabla. Then an older man sitting close by also started to imitate blablabla. Then the bus driver imitated in the loudspeaker saying: this is the bus talking blablablabla. All passengers laughed.   

Do not hurry when visiting the toilet!

My daughter´s friend who was around 7-9 years old was going to the toilet in our home. She had been there for a while when the doorbell rang and it was her father. He was in a hurry so he shouted hurry up we have to leave. She came down quickly and they left. Later in the evening I was myself visiting the toilet and when I was going to wash my hands I touched the tap and got something soft and brown on my hand. I put my hand under my nose and it smelled poo. I checked the floor and I saw also that someone had tried clean the floor but there were two spots of brown colouring on the floor. Really disgusting! Poor girl she had such a hurry from the toilet that poo dropped on the floor she must have picked it up with her hand and that is why I now had it on my hand from the tap....

What is in my hair!?

Me and my husband were going on a bus tour from London out in the countryside and we were a bit early so we went into the train station just to look around while we were waiting as the bus stop was outside the train station. Just when we walked in I felt something in my hair and I looked at my husband and he had something green on the jackets shoulder and I touched my hair and I had something wet and slimy on my head and hair. It was brown, green and white. It was pigeon poo and a lot of it! Just my luck! We found an information desk and asked it there were somewhere I could clean my hair. They were so kind and opened up some showers for me so I could at least try to get some of it out my hair. It was not so pleasant to walk around with still some bird poo in my hair when we entered the bus for the full day bus tour. I can tell you that walking around with dried bird poo all day in your hair smells funny and it not something I REALLY would not like to do again.

   

The scary miaow man

My daughter then 9 years old and I were shopping in a mall. She had to go to the ladies and I was waiting outside. When she cam out she didn´t say anything until we had reached a shoe shop.
She said: - Mum, it was a scary man inside the ladies room.
- Was it? - Why didn´t you sat anything?
- I was scared
- We can go there now and I will talk to him.
- NO, NO please no
- OK what did he do?
- He sounded like a cat and mad miaow noises towards me and he also made sounds like when you want a cat to come over to you. I got scared. He works in there.
OK. So I came home and wrote an email to the mall´s manager that it is not proper to scare young girls and also only make strange noises when he is alone with a young child.
The manager responded that they would address this internally.
After this incident we never saw the miaow man again.

    

Where is my home???

When I was a teenager my mother and father bought a house. The former owners still came to visit their old neighbours next to our house. So one Saturday night/morning my parents woke up as they heard someone trying to unlock our main door. They peaked out from a window and saw that it was the former house owner who was very drunk and tried with a pair of keys to open our door. She talked to him from the inside, without opening the door, telling him that he did not live here anymore. After a while he disappeared.

First impression counts!

At work we were going to get a new General Manager and he was sitting in my manager´s room and they could see me and the other colleagues from the room. I was very thirsty and I had bought a coke in a can and I could see that it had a dent/buckla on it. I opened it up and then it exploded on me. Bang! Oh no! Almost all its content ran down my clothes and down onto the carpet. So, the new manager saw me with coke all over and on my knees scrubbing the carpet....what a great first impression!!!NOT!!!

The wrong month!

I was going to visit a customer in a town 5 hours from mine. I arrived after the long journey and I was standing outside the company´s entrance which was locked. I phoned the customer and said: - Hi, I am here now! He responded: - Today? Wasn´t it the same date next month? I replied: Eh, next month? The customer let me in and fortunately he had time for me. I later checked our email correspondence and he was right. I had written the wrong month! Ups....embarrassing...well better than one month too late..right!?

 

Double trouble

An acquaintance from the suburb I live in travels to work the same route as I am. One morning we were on the same bus and we started to talk. We talked and talked...We changed from the bus to the underground and changed from the underground to another train in the underground. We talked and talked. Then suddenly I noticed that we had taken the wrong train as we had not paid attention as we talked so much. So, we had to jump off the train and take another train back. We came back to the train station from which we could start all over again so we were on the right track....we saw the train and we had to run so we could catch it as we both were late to work by now.  Luckily we catched the train....just to realise it was the wrong train again.............So, when I came in late to work I had to confess that I was late due to that I made the same mistake twice!! Really embarrassing!

   

It is really tough to be a mum....

I was in a store and my daughter wanted some candy but I said no. She got upset and I said it is time to leave the store but she refused. She lay down on the shop floor and screamed. I thought OK I will get out of the store and leave her and she will soon get out and try to find me. The shop owner looked really confused and watched her and watched at me outside the shop but my daughter did not stop crying and screaming and was still laying on the floor. I knew this was not going to work so I entered the store again and grabbed her leg and pulled her out in the the mall screaming and crying. She is still not walking so I am dragging her so she cleans the floor with her whole body. We passed other shoppers who were staring at us and I guess laughing at this surrealistic scene. When we came out of the mall she stopped crying and started to walk. It is REALLY tough to be a mum!

Against all odds!

My mother died of a very unusual disease (CJD) - one in a million is the likely hood of you to get it. As it is so unusual I wanted to get connected with other families who lost loved ones but there are no one to be found and the hospital of course cannot give me their names. I have only found CJD Families in the US and the UK but not here in Sweden.
As I am emptying my mothers apartment I am selling her things to people in the neighbourhood where I live. A very nice woman came over to my house 3 times to buy things and she saw on Facebook that I wrote about the disease CJD. So she wrote to me and asked if I had a relative who passed away from CJD. So it turns out that I found a relative in my own hallway!!! What is the odds for that!? She lives only 1000 meters from me!

Fisherman´s Friend in Swedish

I worked a a post office/bank and worked with an elderly lady. She was going to phone another bank to see if the cheque with for 20.000 SEK was valid and if there was money on the company´s account. She did not know English very well and when she was going to say Fisherman´s friend she said: Fis Herman which is the same as Fart Herman. Herman being a male name. I laughed my head off! Have you heard of a company called Fart Herman!?

The first bra

It was that time when a girl is going slowly into the adult life. It was time to by the first bra. My daughter was nervous and thougt this was embarrassing.
Me and my daughter visited a department store and we looked for the staff but we saw no one. So, we took a couple of bras and went into the fitting room. She tested some bras when suddenly a very dark and male voice said: - Is it two people inside the fitting room? My daughter hid behind my back inside the fitting room and got really upset as she did not want a man to put his head inside the fitting room and check on us. Also, she was kind of embarrassed as it was bra fitting of course. I peeped out behind the curtain and said yes we are two people. It was a guard who explained that it was not allowed. I replied that there were no staff around and that there were no signs telling us about this. Also, my daughter needs help so she cannot be alone. Then the missing staff appeared, a lady, who said that it was OK so finally after this shock we bought the first bra.

Fitting room

On my lunch I was going to try to find some new clothes so I went to the shops fitting room to try some clothes on. Then my mobile phone rang and I saw that it was a manager at my work so I thought I was funny answering: - Hello, it is Siv (my name) in the fitting room. The manager said that he had wondered where I was as I was supposed to be in a meeting with him......ups....embarrassing....I ran back to work as fast as I could without any new clothes.

 

Feeding sharks could get really exciting....

In Gothenburg, Sweden we have an indoor sea park called Universeum with lots of fishes and Sharks. You can walk inside the water in a Plexiglas tunnel so you feel like you are walking together with the animals. We arrived paid our tickets and realised that at our arrival it was time to feed the Sharks. We sat down to Watch it but before it started and just 5min from our arrival the fire alarm went off. A high annoying noise. The staff told us that we need to use the fire exits. Fortunately it was in the summer as we walked out there were just a little space on top of a mountain and no stairs or anything to get away from the building just high dry grass. We stood there with a lot of people and could not move. Then some people had enough and started to try to get down from the mountain and so did we. When a lot of people had walked on the grass it became very slippery and suddenly an elderly man slipped and fell. Fortunately he fell down on a younger man who stopped the fall. We walked down very very carefully. The fire fighters came and left and it was OK for us to go in again through the main entrance as it was false alarm. So, back to watching sharks eat but it is so typical that it had to be when we were there...

Why me!? Really!?

I was soon going to give birth and my husband had agreed with a colleague at his work that if we needed to go to the hospital he would drive us to the hospital as we did not have a car. So, I was calm as I knew he lived close to us and that it was OK to phone whenever we needed. So at 05:00 the water broke and we phoned him. He arrived in a Mini Morris and we drove quickly away. It was very uncomfortable as I had pains every minute and in this small car I felt every bump on the road. The driver was nervous and drove as fast as he could. We arrived and he said very relieved: Here we are! I looked at the hospital and to my horror I realised that it was not the correct hospital. He had taken me to the wrong hospital! Really!? How could this happen!? I am going to strangle my husband!

                                                        Queen Charlotte´s Hospital

Mitsubishi they said and laughed

My father-in-law is a bit obsessed with mobile phones. He lives in Athens and he flew to us in Sweden for 4 weeks. Then horror struck! He forgot his charger in Greece. So, what to do!? I surfed the net and found his charger in France and nowhere else. I asked my father-in-law: - Do you want me to order it from France? He responded: - No, the shops here in Sweden must have it. So, we visited all mobile phone shops and they just laughed and said no we do not have it. You wonder why they laughed? Well, they laughed and said Mitsubishi isn´t that a car!? So, I can tell you that Sweden has no Mitsubishi mobile phones and no chargers for them and my father-in-law had to learn how to live without a mobile phone.

Crawling in a ditch - check!

I have had the pleasure to find new relatives as I am searching my roots. I had talked to my new relative over the phone and chatted but never met her in real life. She was going to drive me around and show me the houses where my family had lived over 100 years ago as she knows the area. We drove around and we met another car on a narrow road and she screams: Oh, no! We found ourselves suddenly in the ditch. The car lying on its side and I had my head just by the ground and the door could not be opened as it was lying on the ground. We had just missed a lamppost! She climbed out on her side and I had to climbed over the gear stick and over her seat and out. She said we must phone a farmer who can pull the car out of the ditch with a tractor. Then two cars stopped and asked us if we needed help. They were on their way to a wedding and they pushed the car out of the ditch and saved us. It was scary when I thought of what could have happened if we didn´t miss the lamppost....well we had some guardian angels for sure. Really lucky!

 

ps the real photo will be added....at a later date

Can I change nurse please!?

I have never had surgery before but I had to remove my gallbladder as it was filled with stones and it was painful and bothered me almost everyday. So I came to the hospital and and I met my nurse. An elderly lady who looked very kind. She started to ask me some questions like if I had some liquid Before the operation and I had to fill in a form. She informed me about what was going to happen and that I should get some pills which was normal procedure to calm the patients down. OK so she forwarded me 3 different pills and I said please could you mix it with a little bit of liquid. She disappeared and I started to take the other pills with some water. She came back and said oh have you taken those pills you should not have them with a lot of water. She forwarded me the cup with my medicine and she dropped it on me by mistake. So the medicine poured down my trousers. OK. She walked away and made me some new medicine. When I had all the pills in my body she started:
Did I tell you this?
Did we do that?
Oh, did I forget to say that....?
And did I tell you that...?
I started to get nervous even with the calming effect of the pills....I even thought to myself maybe I should ask to have her replaced????? As she obviously forgot important things.
Anyway the operation went well and here is the result of the operation:

Here are my 21 stones!!!

Telenor does not want to talk to their complaining customers

Telenor is a phone company in Sweden. I had just bought a simple phone to my young daughter without subscription only paying for a cash card so she will not phone to Hawaii for hours and we will have to sell the house to pay the phonebill. So, I walked in their store in Stockholm´s city together with my daughter. I said to the young man I would like to add some money on her cash card/account. He then throwed us a pink girlie new phone on the counter saying you can get this new one for free if...I stopped him saying I have just bought her one and I just want to have the cash card. Then another young member of the staff came over and leaned forward and said:
- Why do you want cash cards it is only people who cannot pay their bills who have them.
I was very angry and fumes came out of my nostrils and my ears....I said:
- No, I only want a cash card.
I got my cash card and when I left I said to myself that this is not right to be humiliated like this.
I phoned their customer service to complain. The answer I got from their customer service was that they could not received complaints like this over the phone and that I needed to send a letter to their head office. It was really clear that they did not want to talk to their customers. So, I will never have anything to do with them.

When I lost it with Tele2!

Today I received I guess the 15th invoice from a Telephone Company called Tele2 and I phoned them for at least the 25th time saying the same thing over and over again. You have promised to cancel the telephone subscription and you always say that I will not get anymore invoices but you always send me yet another invoice. So, I was not nice. I yelled and asked what do I need to do so you stop sending me invoices!? I have had this problem since May! It is 5 months now! You just promise me that there will be no more invoices by they keep on coming! I am so damn tired of this! Really tired!!!! I asked to speak to a manager as I could not take it anymore. The manager apologised and said that they will write me a letter confirming that no other invoices will appear....well you know me by now...I would not be surprised if Tele2 sends one again.

Where did she go!???

As a family we were going to a fast food restaurant in Athens and our daughter was 3-4 years old. We have a good meal but then suddenly my daughter rises up from her chair and goes to another family and takes an empty chair and sits at their table with them instead. We were as surprised as they were. She sat there like it was the most natural thing in the world. At least she did not eat their food! After some time and some conversation with the new table she returned to home base. Really odd kid!

What happens if I push this button???

I was attending a Tourism and Travel life one-year course and my class visited a cruise liner = Birka Cruise. We were shown around in the ship by a guide and when we came to the dance floor and saw all those crystal balls and curtains... I could not help myself. I disappeared behind the curtains as I was curious of what was hiding behind the curtains....I found some sort of music system and I could not help myself and I pushed some buttons and suddenly when all my class was on the dance floor with the the cruise ships guide. Suddenly lamps starts to flash and some romantic soothing music starts to play...ups....

The guide comes running behind the curtain and finds me and he gives me a funny look.
My classmates then gave me a nickname: Little Tinker = Lilla Pillan.

Antifreeze a 50/50 chance....and I blew it twice!

I bought a car for the first time in my life and I have not a clue really what happens inside this monster machine. So when the display said to me "It is time to change the antifreeze/cooling liquid" I walked into the gas station and asked them what antifreeze I should have and they responded blue as there is also a red. That was over a year ago and now we need to fill it up again so I thought maybe I should check with the mechanical firm just to be sure. They said it should be red not blue liquid. Ups...OK so now we had to surrender the car and get it emptied and refilled with RED antifreeze. The cost!? well, 1500 SEK around 150 Euros. That was an expensive antifreeze...Then I spoke to my car crazy brother-in-law and he claims that I was fooled again! That it does not matter which colour it is as it is just two different manufacturer and it is all the same. Lord Oh Mighty!!!